The one I was
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The one I was
Emelie Rudolph
Paperback, 384 pages including color illustrations by the author
“I’m dreaming, it must be… But why is my body stiff and frozen? My nails scrape the concrete as I struggle to get my fingers to come to life. No, this is not a dream… the cold and pain in my body are real.”
Cazira wakes up, bruised on a roof in the battered Gärsnäs. With memory loss and an aching body, she makes her way towards the light on the horizon to seek help. There she is met by fires and the pungent smell of burnt bodies that makes her want to vomit. In the middle of all the misery stands Marco, terrified to see her in front of him. His reaction makes her feel uneasy, but Cazira sees no other way out than to follow the mysterious man who seems to know who she is. If she had remembered who he was, she would probably have taken his life then and there...
This is a story about toxic love and sexual tension between people who are not really allowed to be together. We are a bit into the future in a torn Österlen, where everyday life is about survival. In the book, the main character fights a constant battle between accepting his fate or fighting for his own body and mind. It is a difficult choice when the body and the brain want different things.